![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 5th, 2019 03:10 pmSomething deeply disorienting about sleeping for 13 hours, and I am still not sure if I "needed" it or not. I always assume if I can go back to sleep then I likely was short slept, or overwhelmed. For this instance I am guessing overwhelmed, and letting go of stress or worry.
I read, long ago, about small songbirds raised in captivity, who were played the songs of their people just post-adolecence. The birds listened very hard, chirped a couple times, and then just -passed out- and slept the sleep of the physically exhausted, only to rouse and listen some more, practice some more, and then fall sound asleep again. I remembered it when I was trying to paint landscapes (on vacation) and I'd go out and sit and stare and push paint around, and then come home and nap really hard, like, snoring and all, and then do it again. I have no idea if I was running with some kind of ongoing sleep deficit at the time, or just that learning new things is hard.
I stayed four days with my dear demented Da. When I wasn't trying to make anything go, just answering questions and doing the next thing quietly, it was remarkably easy. I was deeply grateful for J to come in each day for some more or less random amount of time, and I'd bolt home and do things. Like shower and get clean clothes, or a half hour of studio time. Or lunch with a friend. It was nowhere near as distressing as this time last year, when my step-mother was in the hospital and all my Da wanted was for her to come home and life to go back to normal. This time we knew when she was coming back, she was happy to be away, and having a nice time with her collected classmates.
I'm finishing decompressing by watching Chris Evans movies. Play it cool has too many dudes in, but a nice sense of community.
I read, long ago, about small songbirds raised in captivity, who were played the songs of their people just post-adolecence. The birds listened very hard, chirped a couple times, and then just -passed out- and slept the sleep of the physically exhausted, only to rouse and listen some more, practice some more, and then fall sound asleep again. I remembered it when I was trying to paint landscapes (on vacation) and I'd go out and sit and stare and push paint around, and then come home and nap really hard, like, snoring and all, and then do it again. I have no idea if I was running with some kind of ongoing sleep deficit at the time, or just that learning new things is hard.
I stayed four days with my dear demented Da. When I wasn't trying to make anything go, just answering questions and doing the next thing quietly, it was remarkably easy. I was deeply grateful for J to come in each day for some more or less random amount of time, and I'd bolt home and do things. Like shower and get clean clothes, or a half hour of studio time. Or lunch with a friend. It was nowhere near as distressing as this time last year, when my step-mother was in the hospital and all my Da wanted was for her to come home and life to go back to normal. This time we knew when she was coming back, she was happy to be away, and having a nice time with her collected classmates.
I'm finishing decompressing by watching Chris Evans movies. Play it cool has too many dudes in, but a nice sense of community.
