dancing_crow: (codfish)

SaveSaveSaverandom life is full, and also sweaty

The boat has fiberglass on the bottom, and the first all-over coat of plain epoxy (which is a strange word to type - the letters are widely distributed on the keyboard) so it looks shiny and lovely and increasingly boat-like. The next step is a thorough sanding, and another coat of epoxy and then I flip it over and start working on the interior. That will get more fiberglass, and two more coats of epoxy, and then I start fitting in seats and breasthook (ouch? not really - the most forward piece of boat that reinforces the shape and stability of the bow).

The Paintbox Theater remains hilarious. I was trying to imbed a photo of myself as Cowardly Lion, but my html-fu, what little of it I have, is utterly failing me. We had morning shows Thurs-Sun last week, two shows a day Fri - Sun, and then on Tuesday we moved the whole thing a half hour north and did another show on WEd. And then loaded out. The performing is surprisingly sweaty, but getting to be fun. The shows are exactly the right length for me - an hour total, with 15 minutes of intermission and 10 or 15 minutes at the end of autographs. They are full of dumb physical jokes, and bad puns, and audience participation. The whole thing is hugely enjoyable, and my entire family comments on how closely my sense of humor aligns with the director's.

Al has been sleeping weirdly, and my snoring has been preventing him from falling asleep after he wakes in the dark, so I am sleeping in Aerin's room, which is hardly hers anymore since she's been in Boston for most of a year now, while he experiments with temperature, exercise and diet. I am feeling grumpy about being excluded from bed, especially now that he's been working to make our room colder and drier than ever before - perfect sleeping for me.

dancing_crow: (always stand with magic)

My boat shaped lump is waiting for me to return, and I am up to my neck in PaintBox theater - productions by adults, for children and families on a budget. The genius who developed it is such a kindred spirit, it a huge pleasure to work with him, and I get to indulge my affection for glitter, cardboard and fake gems to an enormous extent.

We're starting the season with Wizard of Oz. We have three main actors, and Dorothy stays Dorothy, and one woman is Aunt Em, ALL the witches, the gatekeeper of the Emerald City, the scarecrow, briefly, and also the Lion for one scene (after that I get to be the Lion, which is a different pleasure.)Our third actor is a graduated kid from the high school, and he plays the Mayor, a narrator, the Tinman, OZ and the main Flying Monkey. Interns (and me) fill in when we need more people onstage.

So far, I have made a wand the size of a baseball bat, an oil can that started out looking more like a silver sippy cup but transmorgrified with help, and a Testimonial, a Degree of Thinkology and a truly enormous (the size of my hand) award for bravery with dangly bits and all the gold spray paint. It is EXCELLENT and Alice and I are deeply proud of ourselves. I've also borrowed three of Alice's stuffed dogs to audition for Toto, shoved some stuff into a pair of orange striped legs to be the flattened witch, and collected some additional random things. I cannot tell you how much I love this job!

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Well - it looks like a boat now. It went from flat packed sheets of plywood glued together to make long enough planks for a 15' boat from 8' plywood, to boat shaped. I got the planks stitched together with copper wire ties. Alice showed up at the end and helped out. Then we flipped it over so it is upside down on sawhorses, and I tighteded all the wires to pull the edges together more tightly. I ended the evening mixing up two batches of woodflour and epoxy to start glueing the planks together.The lowest planks are glued to the bottom.Then I work my way up the boat filling seams. Once the epoxy sets up, I pull out the wires, and then reinforce EVERYTHING.

The directions are good, but I have questions about what happens next that I have to read ahead for. So I make notes in my directions book, which I realized is actually a workbook more than anything I have used since 4th grade, basically.

in other news, there is no other news. There is nothing but boat.
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I have finally really and truly started the boat project, rather than all the wind-up for the boat project. Yesterday I finished unpacking all the parts and checked them off on the list, and primed the epoxy pumps and made a test batch of epoxy, and added some test powder to it to make it like mustard. I have to say, dudes' ideas of mustard vs peanut butter are are hazy at best, and their mustard is far drippier than I like mine, but eh - whatever descriptions work for the reader.

This morning I started by glueing the bottom of the boat together, and since I had epoxy left over I glued the 1 plank up from the bottom (called, I believe, garboards? I should look it up but then I won't finish this post.) After lunch with my da, who was ...less dialed in than usual, I went back to work and finished the other pairs of planks. I did have to mix up two batches of epoxy because at 85 farenheits the mixture sets/cures far faster than at 70 the way it was in the morning. So all the planks are ready to wire together into a boat shape, and then I get to lace it together with temporary wires ties and squirt more epoxy around to hold it together. There are a lot more pages of instructions.

I am sweaty but triumphant, and am going to bed in Aerin's bed because Al is sleeping oddly and when he wakes up I am quiet until he comes back to bed and then (I am told) I begin to snore. Hard. He tried to sleep on the couch again last night but poor Alice was having a puking migraine, and refused to yield the sleeping spot closest to the bathroom. I came down to find no one where I expected them - it was very disorienting. Alice says her head has receded to the point where it no longer seems like a good plan to just remove her head entirely. She has had some nourishment and should be set for tonight. In a day or so I expect she'll eat the moon.

Aerin has some kind of weird response to charm, and it reads to her as smarm, and skeeves her right out. She was dubious about Johnny Depp during the First pirate movie, and she felt vindicated when his wife divorced him for abuse. She asked me what I knew about Harrison Ford or George Clooney, because both of them pinged her the wrong way as well. I know nothing about either one's personal life, but I'll definitely keep her mention in mind. I asked her in return how she felt about Paul Gross, and Brendan Fraser. She likes Gross, and hasn't heard of Fraser so I'm curious to see how the 1999 Mummy holds up for her when she sees it. Or that great one where he emerges from a bomb shelter into late 1990's LA.
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The shelter I need to build the boat under was missing a crucial corner piece and thus could not be assembled until I ahd ordered the missing piece from the manufacturer. Honestly I could have driven to CT and retrieved the piece faster than they got it to me, but I had other things to do and they politely requested I NOT arrive on their doorstep. So the boat arrived, all flat and lighter than I expected, as well as a box of sail and so forth and a small cubical heavy box of info, epoxy, and loose stuff. Boat parts are staying dry in the garage because the rain has been present or threatening since the part arrived on Friday.

Saturday was intense and hilarious and draining and complex. I agreed to be part of the costuming team for a 24-hour theater project. Friday night playwrights got a phrase and some actors. They worked all night to deliver six scripts on Saturday morning to six directors and stage managers who wrangled the scripts into palys on stage by 7 pm: 12 hours from script delivery to performance. There were four of us, two out scrounging for weird things, me talking to each director and keeping things in piles and a fourth person who happened to be the right size, and have sons the right size, to loan some of the more formal things required. The plays were great, the actors amazing, the whole process totally worth revisiting next year.

The only actual drawback to participating in something like 24-hour theater is the daylong production hangover the next day. That is just the price for being in productions. A long down day at the end of it. And here I am back in the studio picking up and tidying loose ends and starting to organize the schedule for the coming week and coming month.

Next week Paintbox Theater starts, the brainchild of Tom McCabe who tells stories. Theater for children by adults - a cast of three, a very simple set and props from around the house, or made from cardboard, lasts under an hour including intermission... it is great fun. I wrote Tom an email last spring saying "I can make anything out of cardboard, I work well with others, and I have a strange and lively sense of humor, you should hire me" and he did. It was GRAND, and I am delighted to be working for him again this summer.

Artistically speaking, I am flailing but I am flailing by making things instead of flailing by sitting on the couch and changing my own plans. Mostly picking up unfinished things and finishing them, and picking up small pieces of things that are interesting and stitching them together. So stuff is accumulating in the studio and I get to/have to think about how to make the boring stuff more interesting.

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My house is filled with children, mine and other people's. aaand as I age, the children get older as well. I mean, 19 and 23 and related ages were, when I was there, adulthood. And yet they are still my children.

Alice has her college room mate and two friends here - boys on the floor in the living room and room mate on her floor (I don't care where they go, I'm a libertine and working hard on keeping my mind out of my offspring's beds, locations are her choice), Aerin is here for the weekend with her young man - all told Al and I out seriously outnumbered. Which feels strange at the moment because we went out last night for supper because there was no one in the house and I wanted to visit with him. And then they all poured back in, yelling about wonder Woman and food and each other. I love them all. and I love that they come and go happily. This can go on for a couple years, as far as I'm concerned.

I am awake earlier than intended and typing in my studio for a while, watching the sun come up and the birds flit about. Eventually I shall go down and make two batches of muffins and hope that will serve to sate the hunger of a half dozen younglings.

The boat company called me about a sail mixup, and sent email with tracking info for my boat parts, so I will have the actual boat parts sometime next week. I keep saying I ahve to set up the shelter and I have not yet. Al admitted yesterday he was worried about me finishing the project, which is truthful, and nothing I haven't thought myself. It was worries about finishing that kept me from starting for years. I think I am feeling more agressive about finishing because this is a thing I want to do before I am too old, and I am feeling like I am aging far too fast.

I watch my dad losing his memories and his past, and think what it might be like. He seems less aggravated by it than I expect, Al suggests because getting upset is pointless and there is nothing much he can do about it. I think as he forgets things, he also forgets the idea of them - a kind of two part forgetting - that helps insulate him from his losses. I mean, this is supposed to be when he tells stories of his past and I remember them for my children, and the parts I am curious about are the parts that are gone - from his time in the Navy, just post WW II in the China Sea ferrying Chaing Kai Shek's troops away from some places and into others, to time at GE, and early days with my mother. I'm sorry he's lost the time he spent with Sea Education Association, because that provided a lot of pleasure. He dimly remembers being in the Caribbean with Lucia, and a little about his adventures following that. Almost none of his time at WHOI remains, another job that provided a lot of pleasure, and took him to ports around the world to catch various Institute ships. He's been in and out of parts of India and Africa that I have to search for on a map -

I dunno, I'm just nattering now.

eh. Think too hard, and it turns into navel gazing (I started with naval gazing, which is maybe what I do when I stare at the backyard full of boats? that is less naval though - maybe it was gazing at the Annapolis Naval Academy...) and hardly worth writing down.


Jun. 1st, 2017 01:55 pm
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I find I am doing a lot of talking in the comments at Clever Manka, which bleeds off any pressure to write things elsewhere, like here.

Alice and I went to Annapolis, which was amazing and slightly alarming and great fun.

Amazing was spending that much time with a self-aware, intelligent, well read, wryly hilarious human I happened to create from scratch. Alice is SUCH an excellent travelling companion, and we had a truly lovely time just talking as we drove through all the states between Mass and MD.

Alarming was looking back on my experiences in Annapolis, the people that are no longer there, and what exactly I did at age 19. I wound up telling Alice a lot of stories about what I did there, while miserable at Goucher for my late freshman year. She was O.0 at a lot of it, which, in retrospect, I was as well. I mean, Harry whose wife was in a car accident shortly after having their baby, and the baby died and Anne was still in the hospital not-walking while Harry was pursuing Elf who was declining gently but not very effectively until Anne was out of the hospital and thus Harry was open for sex with anyone else and I qualified for a while (I did NOT talk about that part) and I fell for a guy twice my age who was a steeplejack and I pursued him with the intensity that only a sex crazed 19 year old can bring to the project, and Blake who played piano in piano bars in Annapolis and his gaggle of girls who worshipped him, and Hobbit who was having apocalyptic visions and convincing all the rest of us they were prophetic and immanent.... it was complex and very very ugly and high key stressful. honestly, moving far away from all of that and taking six courses was an enormous relief. As was eventually cutting off contact with every single one of the people involved.

Great fun - well. All the tiny boats at CLC were simply grand. Alice and I petted all the ones on the hard on Friday, and Sat we went to the beach and tested a bunch of them including a sliding seat ocean rowing object that was amusing but not sustainable, two different sailing options, a third sailing option the rudder fell off while we were in mid-sail, making for an exciting and very damp return, and some fixed seat rowing as well. I have bought a kit, and it was supposed to ship on May 30 but it has been postponed because of epoxy supply issues and should ship June 9. I am wild with impatience to start. The boat is this one: CLC Skerry. Innit adorbs?

dancing_crow: (always stand with magic)
Young Alice turns 19 today which I TOTALLY remembered, but since she hasn't been making a big fuss about it I haven't either. She requested yellow cake with white frosting with raspberries, which I have mostly accomplished. The cake layers came out of the pans perfectly, but then cooled and welded themselves to their respective plates... enough frosting will cure a multitude of ills.

She and two friends are hanging out and visiting at the dining room table, talking movies and laughing. Which seems to be all she wants.

I want to talk about Alice, because I've had her now for 19 years and it feels important, but I don't actually know what to say. She spent the first year of her life looking dubious. She still plays a very long game - she was the one to basically court Aerin's interest and friendship, based on her observation of Al's and my relationships with our siblings. She was talking to Aerin about hiring options at Aerin's work, once graduation happened, in three years. She was chided by a high school teacher for focusing too hard on who gets to tax populations and where power vacuums exist. She won a fight of science over foolishness with an English teacher who wanted her to think about the persistence of objects without observers. She whispered to me, in the middle of her second semester of college, "when does it get hard?"  She has always inhabited a space on imagination and creativity, populated with her imagination. And her imagination is lovely. I guess I can do this for a while.


My dad is having the grumps because his wife's eldest son, a nice enough man who is large and slow moving and slow thinking, is staying with them and unfortunately he is also loud and a shallow thinker. My dad ambushed me in the driveway when I went to visit this morning, and we ambled around the outside of the house and sat in the sun, avoiding the inside until they'd headed out for their daily adventure. Thankfully, the son leaves Friday early.

Alice and I are also leaving early Friday for Annapolis and CLC Okumefest 2017 - they have an open shop and talks on Friday afternoon, and then Saturday they take all the finished boats over to the other side of the Bay, and everyone is invited to bring their own boats, and it is possible to knock on hulls and take vessels out for test runs.

Do I know anyone in Annapolis? Wanna grab coffee? We'll be around Friday and Saturday nights.

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Alice is home for the summer, thinking about what kinds of things she wants to do and getting her borg cube of belongings out of the living room. She was talking with Aerin about what the requirements were for being hired at BWH and Aerin stares at her - "It isn't a summer position?" Alice asks if she looks like someone who wants to work this summer, Aerin looks confused and I laugh like a loon and explain this is Alice, she plays a long game. She's finished her first year at UMass and she's thinking about how to be employed in three years....

Aerin is just home for the weekend, trailing along like a tail on a kite as the young man accomplishes graduation and all the familial flap that entails. I have built three sheet cakes for celebrating his finishing, and will take them to the party soon. Any time now, Really.

I've been working pretty steadily in the studio, and one idea has branched into two radically different directions, and a third thing is developing on its own, far away from everything else and unrelated to anything except chemistry. To be specific, redox reactions. Rust and indigo are both redox reactions, as is combustion, which means as well as indigo and rust dyeing I could also set things on fire. I am not sure how that will go, but it feels interesting, and it is def. a set of colors I like.

Alice and I are driving to Annapolis next Friday early to Chesapeake Light Craft's Okume Fest - open house/shop on Friday with lectures, and then ALL THE TINY BOATS afloat and on the beach on Saturday and then wander home and visit people in a lackadaisical fashion the following week.

Anyone gonna be near Annapolis and want coffee? It's on me if you tell me where to be.

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I went six hours into the wilds of the Maine Coast and visited my sainted mother for a the weekend. It is so odd, that when we talk on the phone she seems to want help with things - computers (the new one is utterly borked, so she's using a decade old Windows Vista machine that is still plugging along), other tech (phone, and it is a FLIP phone too, or tablet) and random questions about every other thing. And yet when I am actually in front of her, and ready to help with what needs hands on it, she insistes we just visit, and talk, and eat, and possibly drive somewhere. Aside from the driving somewhere, the general outline of activities is fine with me, but then when she calls after I get home, six hours plus a stop at Halcyon yarn, she has MORE DAMN QUESTIONS....

I do not grudge her the answers, if I have them. Although figuring out where she is in Monument Valley, and what she needs to do to get the totem friend out of the ocean is trickier than you might expect. I just wonder why she wants different things depending on whether I am actually in front of her, or on the phone six hours away.

Aside from driving, and eating, and talking to my mom and her neighbors (she checked herself into assisted living, of her own volition, and she is mostly liking it a lot) I ahve done nothing of import.

I am so glad to be home.

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My coach/therapist says sitting in my studio IS my job, whether I manage to start something new or make another dozen fish in one medium or another, or just get more shit stuff off the floor so I can move around better. So I am feeling less stupid about just... sitting there.

I'm headed to Annapolis May 19-21, for the Chesapeake Light Craft OkumeFest, so I can see and pat and possibly test the boat I am interested in building. Alice said she might come with me, which would be excellent. She is a very fine travelling companion, and we talk a LOT, like so much we miss exits on highways. Also she has a good eye for design and will keep me on the straight and narrow for boat choices.

Do I know anyone in Annapolis? wanna meet up? It looks like a good time, and we will be unencumbered with school or other things so we can hang out OkumeFest for some additional visiting. I will likely stay with a friend in Philadelphia for at least one night, but I will likely have to miss my cousin in DC, unless they might come see some boats.

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After feeling encouraged about forward motion over the weekend, I spent all day in the studio and accomplished exactly nothing. It couldn't have been exactly nothing, because I hardly wasted any time on the internet or staring out the window, and yet...  I did sort and file some fabric, so there is more floor area. I made some more shrinky polar bears, and tried the Durer rhino stamp on the shrinky stuff as well, and shrunk them and poked them and felt briefly rich. I made seven stars, just to make the sewing machine go.

(seven for the seven stars in the sky
 six for the six proud walkers
 five for the symbols at your door
 four for the winds four quarters
 three, three the rivals
 two two the lily white boys, clothed all in green-o
 one is one and all alone and ever more shall be so)

And then I cleaned up a little more and glued a foot on a horse and made beans for supper. Such excite! So sore!

I had some dim hope that setting old things on fire would make thinking of new things easier, but it isn't, yet. Maybe the ground is still smouldering.

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After explaining to my mother that we couldn't just pull $5k out of the house account because college, but i did have it in my personal artwork account, she decided she couldn't do that, and said she'll find some other way. Which is good - it is what bridge loans and credit cards with ridiculous limits are for. I am immensely relieved to have had that settled amicably, and without remonstrance. And also still have the boat building fund.

We're building the set for Tempest, which is composed entirely of platforms we already have, lumber we already have, and more or less crappy shipping palettes scrounged from the loading dock and the local hardware/lumber store. Did you know (she says with ENORMOUS OUTRAGE) that NO TWO SHIPPING PALETTES ARE THE SAME SIZE??????!!!!?????? There are NO STANDARDS anymore in the UNIVERSE, and it is distressin.

But the set will look fucking amazing and very much like it was built from a shipwreck.

I bought 15 yards of 120" wide fabric to be trees in a backdrop, courtesy of Red Kate's 40% off coupon, and it won me a 50% off coupon and I have another 50% off coupon from Cath, so I can all the fabric, for the rest of the trees and the sails of the first act at a deep discount. I think I will wind up dyeing it with coffee, so a big jar of instant, and I am done with that part too.

Also I finished a pair of socks and found a home for them in less than 24 hours. That is a huge win, it means I can finish the next pair I have half going (I'm to the center of the heel turning) and then take them to someone who deserves them and will love them.
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peoples! welcome to Dreamwidth! 

For no good reason I didn't make it to bed until 2 this morning, and then thrashed around until I finally got up at 7, because sleeping was clearly not on my agenda for that 24 hours. I assume I will crash tonight, and hope to survive a set build tomorrow. and another one the day after. For Tempest.

I am standing in my room making things, although I feel like I am really fumbling. I have a rubber stamp of a codfish, and I have been using shrinky dink plastic to make it substantially smaller, and the copier and scanner on the new printer to make it substantially larger. I also, finally, sent two NOAA charts to Spoonflower to make into yardage. Both cover George's Bank, and the sudden flood of codfish feels related to that somehow. And paint. And possibly rivers, but for that I might need a salmon rubber stamp.

The new washer was delivered today. Al an I decided we'd gotten the old one in 1990, before Aerin, so it does not owe us anything. The delivery guys took it away. I saluted it as it went. The weather is delicious - cool and sunny and a perfect temperature for me.

In deeply awkward financial disclosures, my sainted mother called this morning to ask to borrow $5000 from us until something something taxes. And a house sells? is bought? I dunno. She's turning into a real estate magnate within her retirement community and they kind of frown on that, but at least she isn't buying houses OUTSIDE the retirement community that she'd have to rehab or sell later. Just thinking about lending her money made Al turn red with indignation and start sputtering, so either I turn her down somehow, or loan her the money from my personal account instead of buying the sticth and glue boat I was planning on building this spring (this one: innit cute??l). Al said he'd rather help me acquire a boat to build than become financially entangled with my mother, so that is a statement.

life, never not complex.
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I can see people filtering in from LJ, and I have been setting filters here so I can keep up with people. I'm relieved when I recognize who's who over here - familiar user names, or recurring characters referred to. I am deeply nostalgic for the "old days" but I'm also completely failing to do my part, keeping things moving here, and talking about things that matter.

Having adult children is taking some getting used to. Aerin is in Boston and comes back here on weekends, except when she doesn't. Episilon girl, making the smallest possible change at any given moment, but bending her arc towards independence. She had a round of car trouble that started with a dead battery and escalated through bad jumping to mystery ailment that eventually resolved into fuses and a new battery. Which could have been much worse. For her the worst part was all the phone calls required.

Alice is lolloping through her freshman year at UMass - she was asking (quietly) when it got hard, and she and Aerin were comparing notes on majors and dedication and free time and intensity. To her credit, she is pressing forward on the math, even as she doubles up on Geology classes. Who knows what will prove handy. In her spare time she makes adorable things from fimo - the latest is a yellow triceratops in a lab coat, with round glasses.

We had a vacation. Sint Maarten, although we were on the Saint Martin side mostly. I did some nice painting, and threw out the paints I hated. That was cathartic. And I drew a lot, landscapes/seascapes, the strange gnarly trees, the iguanas in the sun. The color of the sea was completely captivating, and I swam twice a day and it was wonderful.

now I'm back at work, and balancing dad-care with creative work, and some theatrical work, the last piece this year, a design for Tempest.

oh hai

Apr. 5th, 2017 07:25 am
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I'm here now
and giving them money

but mostly FB (https://www.facebook.com/lee.thomson.5473)
a website and blog (https://leethomsonart.com/    ; https://leethomsonart.com/blog/ )
instagram (https://www.instagram.com/lee.thomson.art/)

I tumbl also but mostly to read friends, not to actually say anything
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what a wild blowy day

I visited with my dad, and then pleaded out of lunch with incipient migraine

Once home I failed lunch but won lemon tart, followed by at least six orange milano cookies, and finally set foot in the studio for a couple hours. I swapped all the thread over to the new drawers. It went from three boxes wedged and overfull to five drawers with room for expansion and a lot of the nasty bobbin work threads removed.

I got a call from a woman who wanted to commission a piece of work. I think I might still owe gallery girl some kind of finders fee because the customer found me through her.

And now I am ded and headed to bed.
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Something is up - weather changing or time change coming or spring springing (well in advance of expectations which might be a related problem) I spent the morning oddly impatient. I did march in the local Day without Women/Women's Day march, along with about 300 others.
It was oddly anticlimactic after the Women's March the day after inauguration day, but felt important. C had emailed to ask if I was planning on going, and I wasn't until I had company, so she came over and parked at our house and we walked up to join the rabble.

After lunch (correctly and deliciously acquired at a locally-owned-by-immigrants shop) I went back to work with the musical at the school. Spent most of the time talking, and plotting. I continue to feel like I am getting away with something for this show - I have not expended even a tenth of the energy on set design or construction, nor have I done anything except consult with parent volunteers doing the vast majority of the producing work. Honestly my plan is still to donate my stipend to the newly formed Friends of Theater group to make up for a guilty conscience.

Studio work is on the back burner for the moment, but I need to get back in there and keep making work. I have a handful of pieces I salvaged in the most recent purge that I think have potential and should be revived. If I can get one of those finished every week or so I can get new stuff up the gallery. L is looking for more new stuff now, so she's got space and enthusiasm for whatever I bring.

I have a new sketch-book/log book and I can't start it until I finish off three last pages in the old one, but it is driving me to distraction just sitting there all shiny and new and blue and covered in octopodes.
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I have adopted a small bear. She is a comfortable size to hold in my hand, and she fits in my pocket. She came with me today to look at a potential shared studio space, and we decided it was ...not quite right. It is the very first place I've seen, but it is also small, shared by 6 women, plus a couple part timers, and there is a lot of shared stuff. I think I want to have more room for my own stuff, and I want the company to be (this sounds awful) more professional? One woman does a lot of craft fairs, one woman paints and does a lot of gelatin printing, the woman who started it and whose name is on the lease is one of those everything at once people. I think not this one. Something will show up.

Ursula bearUrsula bear. She is coming with me to listen, but not offer advice. I shoudl make her some viking socks, or a hat. Or maybe a vest. I hope she likes knitting.
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I finally started movement on finding a therapist/coach, and was pointed at someone who coaches mid-life women and artists. I have some hope that some of the issues I think I am having, like not currently making art and feeling unconnected to everytihing might be addressed, even if they are not necessarily resolved. She requested I take the Enneagram test, which I generally feel is moderately useless, and I was so aggravated by it that I compiled a list of commentary on the questions as I answered them. Which is fundamentally hilarious because really - this is how I spend my time taking a pointless test? Talking back to it. Ok.

I have started changing things in the house so that it fits better. Moving other people's stuff out of the common areas and into their rooms to deal with, and shifting my artwork beongings back up to my room and maybe eventually moving Al's robot parts and etc, down to the eating room. We have an eating room with computers, a couch room with books, a cooking room, three sleeping rooms and one work room for me. They don't even have normal names. well, except the bathroom, and the kitchen. But the kitchen is also the wet studio for paint and etc, because I can't paint or dye fabric without water and I can't take it upstairs because I spill it (ask me how I know).

The next step is getting more exercise. steadily. like daily. So I guess tomorrow. because today is pretty much over.

still distressed about the election,

also I failed the first test of a trimp america. I did not even think that it would start at the Northampton Stop&Shop in the 12 items or less line, but there was a woman behind me berating a woman behind her about having too many things in her cart, and I did nothing. Next time, i stand up. I was trying to figure out who to complain to, and what exactly i could say after I failed to take on the woman herself, and I failed across the board. So next time, think less, and stand up sooner. I was wearing my theater tech sweatshirt, that has three safety pins on it because backstage, except now thy make a political statement as well, and I totally forgot about that part.


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July 2017

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