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me dear demented Da
May. 1st, 2019 08:29 pmThere is a kind of rhythm to caring for kids, and I have rediscovered that rhythm in caring for my dear demented Da. He asks the questions because he genuinely needs and wants to know the answer, and making him work for it does not make him any happier. Having the Whiteboard Of Answers helps only in that he can check in with it and reread the answers to make sure they are still the same, but I still wind up answering the same set of questions over and over and over. So I settle into it, and think about other things in between the questions, and knit, or text a little (except that feels rude, even though he's hardly there). Being here for a couple days running while L attends a class reunion - the 61th, so a (small) group of well educated 79 and 80 year old white ladies - means I am on the hook for meals and distractions as well, although J comes daily for my respite.
Tuesday was long, and it took forever to get him to actually go to bed and stay there. He got confused about which house this is and was appalled that we'd lost the sleeping porch,and wanted to know, plaintively, where he'd be sleeping then. He came down repeatedly to check on the lock on the door, check on me, check on the cats... and then the wretched cats had a mad runaround at 10 and convinced him to come down and feed them, so that behavior will have to scorched out of them for the next several nights... This morning he was unsure of when and where he was, and why. It took several iterations before he got a grasp on the town, the owner of the condo we're in, who exactly I am, which always leads to "who's your mother? Where is she now? were we married? wy did we split up?" Once I stopped trying to end the conversation by answering, and started just answering and moving on, those got easier.
I have started to wonder if I could tell what parts of his brain are affected by what his deficits are - it is all memory and time and location and story telling about his past. He still has pretty solid language skills, word choice and order, not just word salad but reasonable responses to the answers to his questions. Physically he is ridiculously robust. I am deeply grateful he can do the basic bodily things on his own - eating and bathroom and even showering are things he seems perfectly capable of. So I would guess pre-frontal cortex, mostly, with the lower parts less affected (so far). If anyone knows more brain stuff tell me, or point me to it, because I am curious.
I have accomplished the first month of Patreon rewards! I am flipping MIGHTY!! Last night, before midnight, the email newsletter went out, and I finished postcard mailing today.
If anyone is interested in supporting my artwork in an organized fashion, I am grateful for even a dollar a month. For a dollar you get a monthly newsletter, three dollars wins you a postcard showing new work, monthly, plus the newsletter, and for ten bucks a month you get a small piece of current art in the mail every other month. It will be small, experimental and unexpected.
Tuesday was long, and it took forever to get him to actually go to bed and stay there. He got confused about which house this is and was appalled that we'd lost the sleeping porch,and wanted to know, plaintively, where he'd be sleeping then. He came down repeatedly to check on the lock on the door, check on me, check on the cats... and then the wretched cats had a mad runaround at 10 and convinced him to come down and feed them, so that behavior will have to scorched out of them for the next several nights... This morning he was unsure of when and where he was, and why. It took several iterations before he got a grasp on the town, the owner of the condo we're in, who exactly I am, which always leads to "who's your mother? Where is she now? were we married? wy did we split up?" Once I stopped trying to end the conversation by answering, and started just answering and moving on, those got easier.
I have started to wonder if I could tell what parts of his brain are affected by what his deficits are - it is all memory and time and location and story telling about his past. He still has pretty solid language skills, word choice and order, not just word salad but reasonable responses to the answers to his questions. Physically he is ridiculously robust. I am deeply grateful he can do the basic bodily things on his own - eating and bathroom and even showering are things he seems perfectly capable of. So I would guess pre-frontal cortex, mostly, with the lower parts less affected (so far). If anyone knows more brain stuff tell me, or point me to it, because I am curious.
I have accomplished the first month of Patreon rewards! I am flipping MIGHTY!! Last night, before midnight, the email newsletter went out, and I finished postcard mailing today.
If anyone is interested in supporting my artwork in an organized fashion, I am grateful for even a dollar a month. For a dollar you get a monthly newsletter, three dollars wins you a postcard showing new work, monthly, plus the newsletter, and for ten bucks a month you get a small piece of current art in the mail every other month. It will be small, experimental and unexpected.