cooking up emotions

I'm having this huge wave of sadness and frustration that I am putting the work into making the kitchen nicer and more usable and thinking about adding lights and colors and we're just going to sell the house. I mean, I hardly cook any more, compared to three meals a day 6 of 7 days a week when the kids were here and in school... I make a giant dinner for 12 - 16 every two weeks, and in between I try to do less and less with the frozen things from Trader Joe. There are only the two of us here, I don't cook anything except supper, it all feels miserably pointless and it's making me distressed and weepy.