![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 9th, 2009 06:54 amLooking at King Oak made me feel very very old. Bent, gray and geezery, whining "when I was a kid" at every turn.
I couldn't quite figure it out - I have done eventing at that level, and done well at it. I remember fences, and courses, and walking the XC and Stadium at King Oak brought a lot of memories back. Heck, I organized an event in my backyard when I was 16, and did again for the next two years. So why do I feel so out of date? It isn't just that Every Single Organization involved has changed its name, repeatedly and the names of the levels have changed, although that is off putting, and makes me sound like an aged cool cat in a room full of children with the current slang.
I finally realized, it is a part of my life that was over before I turned 20. And I am going to be 49 this year. That is a legitimately large gap to bridge. I miss that teenager. I stood in front of a box of horse things in the cellar and cried, missing those horses and that person. It isn't that I can't still do this, it is that I have a lot of work to retrieve that knowledge and courage and drive.
Also? I have to get (re)started jumping. I think I am missing that.
I couldn't quite figure it out - I have done eventing at that level, and done well at it. I remember fences, and courses, and walking the XC and Stadium at King Oak brought a lot of memories back. Heck, I organized an event in my backyard when I was 16, and did again for the next two years. So why do I feel so out of date? It isn't just that Every Single Organization involved has changed its name, repeatedly and the names of the levels have changed, although that is off putting, and makes me sound like an aged cool cat in a room full of children with the current slang.
I finally realized, it is a part of my life that was over before I turned 20. And I am going to be 49 this year. That is a legitimately large gap to bridge. I miss that teenager. I stood in front of a box of horse things in the cellar and cried, missing those horses and that person. It isn't that I can't still do this, it is that I have a lot of work to retrieve that knowledge and courage and drive.
Also? I have to get (re)started jumping. I think I am missing that.
