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dancing_crowwelp. I have been reduced to knitting by heat and frustration. I am knitting a nosewarmer for my NP, who is seeing both girls tomorrow even though it is the first day of school for Alice. Somehow I assumed (I KNOW! never DO that) school started after Labor Day and I think they missed a check-up each last year. I figure she can miss the first part of the first day of school of her senior year (holy CRAP how did that happen so fast????) because she is still organizing her schedule so she doesn't ahve to deal with a fatuous fart of a teacher. More power to her. Also, that would be whose class she is missing. So.
I am still kind of low grade furious with Al, if that makes sense? I want him to sit down and SHUT UP and LISTEN to Aerin. Not try to defend himself. Not try to explain what he was thinking. Not try to talk his way out of how he made her feel. To listen to her complaints, and try to do whatever it is differently next time. Reeally differently. Please. He was feeling crappy for two days, which gives him a bye but feels like an evasion. He had work stuff last night, the extra free-lancing that will pay off the garage and the solar he wants to install. That also felt like an evasion even if it is totally legit. They'll have to do it sometime, and they both want me around. To defuse and reinforce, I guess. I am working on just being present, and not attempting to interpret.
I remember asking my riding instructor if coughing was an evasion, and we stared at the mare for a loong time trying to decide if it was just warming up or something she did when stuff got mentally hard. A lot of Al's illnesses feel like evasions. they could, alternatively, be the thing Alice used to do when she'd be a complete pill for a whole day and then be obviously ill. Grumpiness preceeding illness. In Al's case, bad behavior preceeding illness.
Vacation was .... odd. I did see my brother, I did see my sister-in-law, I did get to do an afternoon of aunting, and the kids, including Aerin's (pretty damn amazing) boyfriend leaned into the cousin business in a fabulous way. I rowed around Manana. I thought about rowing around Monhegan, but decided against it that day. Maybe I will another day, with nicer oars.
I am still kind of low grade furious with Al, if that makes sense? I want him to sit down and SHUT UP and LISTEN to Aerin. Not try to defend himself. Not try to explain what he was thinking. Not try to talk his way out of how he made her feel. To listen to her complaints, and try to do whatever it is differently next time. Reeally differently. Please. He was feeling crappy for two days, which gives him a bye but feels like an evasion. He had work stuff last night, the extra free-lancing that will pay off the garage and the solar he wants to install. That also felt like an evasion even if it is totally legit. They'll have to do it sometime, and they both want me around. To defuse and reinforce, I guess. I am working on just being present, and not attempting to interpret.
I remember asking my riding instructor if coughing was an evasion, and we stared at the mare for a loong time trying to decide if it was just warming up or something she did when stuff got mentally hard. A lot of Al's illnesses feel like evasions. they could, alternatively, be the thing Alice used to do when she'd be a complete pill for a whole day and then be obviously ill. Grumpiness preceeding illness. In Al's case, bad behavior preceeding illness.
Vacation was .... odd. I did see my brother, I did see my sister-in-law, I did get to do an afternoon of aunting, and the kids, including Aerin's (pretty damn amazing) boyfriend leaned into the cousin business in a fabulous way. I rowed around Manana. I thought about rowing around Monhegan, but decided against it that day. Maybe I will another day, with nicer oars.